How'm I Doin'?

This morning I saw on the news that Ed Koch, former Mayor of New York, died.  Now I don't know much about his politics, what he accomplished (or didn't), or whether he was an effective Mayor.  What I can tell you is that I always loved Ed Koch, even though he was famous for his acid tongue and his sharp wit, but also for his generally affable personality.

So today's question is an homage to his traditional greeting when he spoke to crowds, when New Yorkers yelled at him on the streets, basically anywhere he went, he opened with his trademark, "How'm I Doin'?"

I love this question, and I see a larger value to it than merely a way for Mayor Koch to open conversation.

First, it suggests an investment in wanting to do well.  If I'm asking for feedback before it is offered, I reflect to my supervisor, my colleagues, my friends that I want to be all that I can be.  Can you imagine what our personal relationships would be like if we asked, "how am I doing as your friend?", "how am I doing as your spouse/partner?", "how am I doing as your child?"

Second, in a work setting, it pushes supervisors to provide ongoing feedback rather than just once a year evaluation (if they even do that) - a practice that is hopelessly ineffective and yields very little to actually improving job performance.  But most supervisors are uncomfortable with evaluation and won't provide ongoing feedback unless it is asked for, even with positive reviews.

Third, it's a great question to simply ask oneself.  In "Standing in the Fire: Leading High Heat Meetings With Clarity, Calm and Courage," author Larry Dressler recommends that when faced with situations packed with emotion and anger, one of the best things a facilitator can do is check in with him/herself and see how s/he is doing before managing the situation.

So thank you, Mayor Koch, for giving all of us this valuable question and some great memories.  For the record, you were doing great.